|Zbrush WIP Class work|
I've been thinking about how to start this blog post for a while now. I've been in secondlife since 2008 & creating in world almost as long. I have seen the grid change and morph into something new for nearly 8 years and I have made sure to ride those ripples and waves no matter how turbulent to progress.
If you would have asked me all those years ago, if I thought I'd ever come this far, let alone learn a skill that could benefit me in the real world? I'd probably laugh. When I started I was a pre-school teacher. I spent my day wiping runny noses and thwarting toddlers attempts to eat play-doh, and by night? I was doodling t-shirts on defunct avatar uvs. It started out as a hobby, but quickly grew into an obsession. I'd spent a lot of years floating around in the real world unable to find out where I fit, and then out of no where, on a quirky video game, in some forgotten corner of the internet. I found my place. I was an artist.
I tried to not let "I cant" seep into my vocabulary, I told myself I could do anything! I love a good challenge, I like to learn. Its like climbing a mountain to its peak and finding another one waiting for you. much higher, much steeper, with a lot more to offer than the hill I just conquered. But what I didn't realize is that no matter how hard I tried to ignore the "I cants" they had found their way into my life and hunkered down for winter. I used to look at artists website's and tumblr's, and think just how amazing it would be to be like them. But it didn't feel like a real possibility for me, it felt like someone else's life that I was supposed to admire from the outside. After all I just worked in secondlife. How could I hope to make any of it real? That life wasn't meant for me.
I think I've held on to that thought process like its gospel since the beginning. The "I can't" monster had snuck up, and bit me on the ass, without me ever realizing it. It took a few special people in my life to really urge me to not only take that next step, but to find the confidence in my work and myself that I'd lost.
I started to say I will do this, and I will do this, turned into I can do this. The final kick was my boyfriend Shephard (fellow author of this blog) taking a risk and applying for Vancouver Film School. His fearless run, head on into what he wanted, was inspiring to watch and pushed me to make a (scary) decision for my own life.
I'm going to be an artist in the real world, I can do this, I will do this. I'll start with baby steps but I am going to be what I love. Because that's the thing, I don't have to look at the world from the outside, and admire them from behind glass. I can be apart of it and I think that has been the most liberating realization I've had in a long time.
I will be posting WIPs and progress from my classes going forward, and I hope you'll follow me on my journey into the unknown.